Part 2
There is a three-year age gap between my two boys, which for us has been near on perfect! The time gave opportunity to continue figuring out who I want to be as a mum, who my village were – friends, family, community and professional support - where I wanted to birth, and how I would practically get through the early days. My husband and I got on the same page and worked through what we want for our newborn second time around. This also included the ‘why’ of breastfeeding. I was so much more resourced
and had on standby options in case breastfeeding was difficult again.
In complete contrast, with Rory, my second child, the first moments and days were magical, breastfeeding established beautifully, and I wished time would stand still. I couldn’t believe the instant feeling of heart-bursting love. “This is the love and newborn bubble people talk about”, I smiled to myself, feeling so much gratitude.
My birth with Rory was empowering and I felt like Superwoman, standing up as I birthed him. Rory’s first two nights he fed on and off the entire night – normal for milk coming in – and I rolled with it. I knew this was normal; good, in fact.
When I arrived home, I had a meal train and ordered food delivery. We limited who we had visit our new little family. We were kind to ourselves and chose to intentionally feel no pressure to “put the baby down”, instead cuddling to our hearts content, which meant we all had more rest. I have no idea how many feeds or sleeps Rory had in a day, as I embraced his cues rather than watching the clock. We, as a family, thrived on finding our own rhythms. I ate all the lactation cookies and trusted my body and baby would figure
out what we needed to along the way. My husband and sisters and best friends and mother-in-law and counsellor and village have kept me strong, too.
Rory, at 13 months, is still feeding multiple times a night, with no end in sight. This feels just right for us. A wonderful, bonding, tiring, exhausting, fulfilling, labour-intense, incredible experience. We rock. We cuddle. We safely co sleep. We laugh and cry and yell and rest.
My two BF experiences have been polar opposites, but in many ways each mirrored how I was feeling and the support I had around me at the time. Breastfeeding is not a solo feat and, in my experience, has taken surrendering to the beautiful messiness of motherhood and leaning on a whole lot of community.